Being Grateful

The more that I think about it, I've come to believe that gratefulness is a discipline...just like everything else.  This past week, I've spent a lot of time contemplating Christ's obedience to God- He was put through all kinds of suffering...a depth of suffering that all of us are far removed from.  Why?  Because Christ suffered in the midst of His righteousness...something that we could never achieve.  When Christ went to the cross, He suffered in silence- He didn't complain.  This baffles me because Christ had every reason to complain and defend Himself- He was innocent.  As sinful people, our very nature is to complain because our flesh is consumed with the idea of serving ourselves.  When things don't go our way, we're quick to make it known.  But Christ was different, He was so in tune with God's will for His life that He was willing to honor Him in obedience.  The pureness of Christ's affection for the Father was profoundly illustrated in His lack of complaint- sometimes the absence of words is more powerful than the most eloquently arranged speech.
In relation to all of this, I was recently asked this question: "How often do I open my mouth when God's will gets too costly for me?"  Yikes.  Despite whatever suffering might come my way, despite my imperfections, despite my lack of belief I need to learn the beauty that comes in fully trusting God.  And, I believe that begins with gratefulness because gratefulness produces a joyful heart.  All that to say, each week I'm going to record 5 specific things that I'm thankful for.  Here goes:

1- I'm grateful for laughter...this past week, I've gotten to laugh a lot- specifically with one by the name of Emma.  Emma's one of the middle school girls in the youth group- but she's also much more than that...she's become a little sister to me over the past year.  Yesterday we sat for a couple of hours making crazy videos- just being completely silly...the purest laughter that I've experienced in a while was a result of that endeavor.

2- I'm grateful for my mom and our relationship.  I recently had the flu and she's the person that was there to comfort me through that (haha, even though we are 8 hours apart).  She called me each morning to check in because she knew that I was alone- that action spoke volumes to me and it made me realize that she really cares for me.

3- I'm grateful for art.  I've gotten back in the swing of drawing and painting and it's been great.   I'd forgotten how much I enjoy it and how getting lost in creativity allows me to meet with God in a way that I could never verbally express.

4- I'm grateful for today's weather- seriously, it was a pretty day with the right amount of sun and wind.  I spent a good 3 hours sitting under a tree just being consumed by it all- listening to music, reading the Bible, closing my eyes- it was truly refreshing.

5- I'm grateful that God will never leave me or forsake me.  Elaboration: I've been struggling with some very specific sins throughout the past couple weeks (or maybe I've been struggling with them for a while, but they came to light over the past couple weeks)...and when I think about it, I get really frustrated with myself.  But, it's in that brokenness that I'm reminded of God's love for me.  I don't have to clean up for Him- He just simply wants me to run into His presence and to embrace His grace for what it really is.  It's just been me and God for a long stretch- and, for a while I was focusing on loneliness and was filled with a complaining heart about fighting things alone...God changed my focus though and reminded me that He wants me to confide in Him...and that He's just simply waiting for me to speak.